Hideous Yard Demon

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS????

Something awful that came from MY YARD
Even worse, i think one of the dogs was chewing on it because it was in the dining room where they often bring in bits of wood to chew in air conditioned comfort.

Oh... a quick Google confirms what I suspected. It's a Jerusalem Cricket which also goes by a number of colorful names that refer to its allegedly humanlike (childlike) appearance: " the niño de la tierra (Spanish for "child of the earth"), Earth baby, cara de niño (Spanish for "child's face"), or wó see ts'inii (Navajo for "skull insect"). It is also goes by the more mundane "potato bug," or alternatively the old bald-headed man." Personally, I don't see the resemblance. It's also believed these little monsters can make a sound like a crying child. Only true in nightmares, I believe.

INDIA: A Brush with Freakdom

This is something that I encountered in India a few months back. Not exactly fresh news, but something I just can't help but talk about -- my encounter with a MIRACLE COW!



This was the vehicle that brought me the greatest experience of the trip. I heard tinny chanting through those speakers and came running, camera in hand.





The driver (in saffron) was some sort of holy man. He immediately drew a crowd with his spiel.)





As he spoke, he gestured to the passenger I hadn't previously noticed, a festively attired cow .





That's when I noticed the painting on the side of his vehicle, a particularly grim Krishna aside a cow with what appeared to be a surgical glove pinned to her ass





Apparently, this was not merely a holy cow; it was a DEFORMED holy cow. And one painted over with lucky SWASTIKAS! Of course the extra appendage looked more like a sock full of meat than what was advertised in the painting, but I was ECSTATIC





And still there was MORE! There was a chance to directly CONNECT to this great miracle! Money was being blessed by the MUTANT SWASTIKA COW! I tore bills out my wallet and blindly waved them through the crowd.





Expecting nothing more than the honor of seeing my personal bills resting in blessed proximity to the cow, I then noticed that each donation bought a smudge of holy pigment, a tilak smeared as a holy memento of the encounter. Sadly, I don't have a self portrait with the mark on my forehead, but i proudly bore it throughout the rest of the day, in as far as sweat would allow.

This all happened in the Rajastahni town of Jaisalmer, but I believe it is sort of a mobile phenomenon, so you couldn't necessarily count on bumping into this oddity. But wherever that mutant-cow-swami goes, my blessings go with him. I can't think of a more gratifying way to exploit a freak of nature.

When Shiva gives you lemons, make lemonade!