Hideous Yard Demon

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS????

Something awful that came from MY YARD
Even worse, i think one of the dogs was chewing on it because it was in the dining room where they often bring in bits of wood to chew in air conditioned comfort.

Oh... a quick Google confirms what I suspected. It's a Jerusalem Cricket which also goes by a number of colorful names that refer to its allegedly humanlike (childlike) appearance: " the niño de la tierra (Spanish for "child of the earth"), Earth baby, cara de niño (Spanish for "child's face"), or wó see ts'inii (Navajo for "skull insect"). It is also goes by the more mundane "potato bug," or alternatively the old bald-headed man." Personally, I don't see the resemblance. It's also believed these little monsters can make a sound like a crying child. Only true in nightmares, I believe.